Tangled Up in You
by DreamersEclipse
Summary: Shepard and Kaidan were made for each other. Even if it took a while to get where they are. (Ficlets: during the Citadel DLC: M!Shenko) Fluff.
1. Chapter 1

Tangled Up in You

Summary: Shepard and Kaidan were made for each other. Even if it took a while to get where they are. (Ficlets: during the Citadel DLC: M!Shenko) Fluff.

Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect. All I truly possess is a love for this pairing.

Warning: Adult themes and language. Sexual tension…flirting…lovey dovey monologues

A/N: This is a series of short stories inspired by the song Tangled Up in You by Staind. I recommend listening to it; it's a really beautiful song and the titles/ideas of each chapter are taken from the lyrics. Please enjoy. Feedback welcome.

*Start Story*

**Take Away My Pain**

"Oh you've got to be kidding me." Shepard chuckled. "Hey Kaidan, you have to come see this!" He started to strip off his shirt.

"Don't tell me you found another one of those interview vids with Anderson. They're scattered all over the place." Kaidan stopped in his tracks upon seeing a stripped down Shepard in his underwear, dipping his feet into a bubbling Jacuzzi.

The Infiltrator had the stupidest grin on his face as he looked up at him. He slid into the tub, letting out a hiss of pleasure in the process, smiling from ear to ear. "Anderson sure knows how to pimp out a pad."

"I know I probably shouldn't be surprised but…I can't believe there's a hot tub in this place."

"Aw God, this feels incredible." Shepard moved around in the water until he reached the edge where he folded his arms onto the chilly tile floor and rested his head atop them. His expression softened. "What are you standing there for? Come in and join me."

The biotic shuffled in his spot. He was _extremely_ tempted but…, "Don't you have to meet Joker at that fancy sushi place where you need a reservation to even reserve?"

"I'm getting ready now aren't I? All squeaky clean for our first class pilot." In a shuffle of water he out of the tub, dripping wet. "I've got a good hour at least before he's expecting me, don't worry. Besides," He took hold of the hem of Kaidan's shirt and began to pull it up, "why not take advantage of these luxuries while we have them?"

On Shepard's body Kaidan could see the lingering effects of bruises from their last mission. Pink flesh hinted with purple on his side and on his shoulder. Then there wer the scars across his chest and on his stomach. How long they've been fighting, he realized. Each scar from every battle they've every fought. And there were many. So he took off his own shirt and decided maybe they could both do with a little bit of healing. It wouldn't get rid of the scars but it would clean old wounds and battered bodies and refresh their spirits some.

"Yeah," He agreed, "Why not?"


	2. You're the Light

Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect. All I truly possess is a love for this pairing.

Warning: Adult themes and language. Sexual tension…flirting…lovey dovey monologues

A/N: I love m!Shenko.

*Start Story*

**You're the Light**

"There you are."

Shepard turned his head, taking in the relieved little smile that Kaidan wore. The biotic stepped forward to stand at the Infilitrator's side and leaned on his side on the railing of the Silver Coast's second floor while still looking over at him.

Sounds of muffled music leaked out of the walls and mixed in with the sound of crowds of people and rapid transits flying overhead. Shepard looked back down at all the beings mingling around on the first floor. They all were having a good time, blissfully unaware of the horrors going on around them. Out there, in the darkness, the Reapers were decimating entire planets and with each passing day more lights in the universe were being extinguished. Planets bled blood and roared in consuming fires of pain while life as they knew it was being extinguished.

Still, there they were, bustling about, trying to forget the problems of the universe. Shepard felt a feeling of self-loathe in knowing he was one of those people.

A heavy, warm hand covered his affectionately. "I was…I am worried about you. So are the others." His body tensed at the touch and the words. Kaidan noticed this and held on a little tighter, moved in a little closer. "Talk to me, Adam." Shepard's heart melted. He couldn't stand being called by his first name. It made him feel too special. Especially when Kaidan said it. When Kaidan said his name it was the best thing to hear in the world.

Shepard moved his hand so that their palms touched and he looked away from those beautiful brown eyes before the world was lost to oblivious as he plunged into their loving abyss. He didn't want all his problems to be solved by Kaidan's words…or touch. They deserved the thought. He deserved the punishment. He deserved to kill himself, literally.

"I just…" He struggled with how to proceed. What was he struggling so hard with? What was the problem?

Kaidan squeezed his hand in a reassuring manner. "I won't pretend to know what you're feeling. The shit that you've been through…" he shook his head and laughed dryly, "It gets a little ridiculous sometimes doesn't it? I mean when you think about it what are the chances that you, Adam Shepard would be born in this time to fight against a race of megalomaniac sentients with a hunger for mass destruction? After everything you would think we seen it all, chasing down Saren across the universe with the first diverse alien team in the galaxy but it looks like the universe has still got a few cards up its sleeve right?

A tiny twinge of a smile came to Shepard's face. When did Kaidan become such a calm, clear voice? Before Cerberus and after Cerberus. They ruined everything for Shepard. The one light in his world that made things bearable and Cerberus took it away from him. The only consolation was that those bastards allowed for Shepard to save everyone, including Kaidan. But they still have rotted everything they touched.

Including him.

"The cosmos sure have a queer sense of humor…Life is a joke, death is the punch line. In my case, it's the other way around. They must be falling on their backs in laughter. I almost wish I believed in a god. Maybe then I could rage at them for screwing up my life's script. I bet you I'm going to die a ridiculous death. Something ironic. Like tripping before the finish line."

"Don't talk like that, Adam." Kaidan both demanded and pleaded. "You are the most valuable person in the universe and you deserve that respect and praise." He swallowed hard and tightened his grip without loosening it this time. "If…when you die…it's going to be as a hero. Not only that, Adam," Kaidan took hold of John's face with his other hand and made him look at him, "but you are the center of my univer. So don't you dare talk like that." His eyes were glossy but Shepard knew that he wouldn't cry. It took a lot to make Alenko cry. But he himself felt on the verge of tears.

"Sorry." Shepard amended after seeing the hurt in his love's eyes. Kaidan's eyes softened immediately. With a long rough sigh Shepard ran a hand through his moppy brown hair. "I know you shouldn't talk like that. I just feel like it's inevitable now though, you know? Going into this whole mess I already knew that this battle would be my grave. But then 'he' shows up and…"

The Infiltrator bit his lower lip. He locked eyes with the biotic. "Miranda told me that they almost put a control chip in my brain. The Illusive Man stopped her. But could have been me, Kaidan. That cold killer that was willing to put everyone in harm's way to make ends meet. I feel like he was a completely different person but at the same time…that is me. At least, he is a part of me. And I can't deny him his existence just because I don't like what I saw."

There was a silence between them for a while. Only the droning sound of the world moving around them played on. Finally Kaidan pulled Shepard into a full hug. "Listen, Adam. We all have parts of ourselves that we don't like. We all have darkness in us. Yours just happened to take form. I'm sorry you had to go through that. Cerberus are bastards and believe me they are going to pay for everything that they've done." His tone became seething at the last line.

"But you are still you. You're still the man I fell in love with. You're still the man who saves everyone because it breaks your heart if you don't. The way I see it, that other you was a cheap imitation. Because you, Adam Shepard, never give up on yourself or others. Your faith in humanity, in people is what makes you who you are. That other guy couldn't understand, the real Adam Shepard is a stubborn bastard who needs to save the world and quite honestly, makes a terrible villain." This pulled out a small chuckle from the Infiltrator. Kaidan smiled lightly as well.

"Yeah, I have to agree with you there."

"Come on, let's head back to the apartment alright?"

Kaidan held out his hand to him and Shepard looked at it. The thought of his clone still made him sad and uneasy but the biotic was right. One other thing that the other Shepard didn't have, the most important thing of all that made Shepard who he was, that kept him from being consumed by the darkness threatening to swallow him whole, was Kaidan Alenko; the light of his life.

A/N: I have multiple pieces finished already and just have to type them up.


	3. You're My World

Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect. All I truly possess is a love for this pairing.

Warning: Adult themes and language. Sexual tension…flirting…lovey dovey monologues

A/N: Feedback please! Or just read, enjoy and be on your merry way.

*Start Story*

**You're My World**

"I've been thinking."

Kaidan looked up from chopping the beef to Shepard who loosely held his beer in his right hand and had a sort of distant look to him. His silver eyes were slightly glossy under the fluorescent light bulbs hanging from the kitchen ceiling. And that slight and dreamy smile tugged at the corner of his lips was something too rarely seen in these days but very welcome no matter when it appeared. The biotic looked back down at the knife and meat so that he didn't accidently chop any of his fingers off. "About what?"

"About you."

The remark made him return his gaze to Shepard once more; hand paused in its movement. Those steely grey eyes bore into him, filled with love and some other strong emotions that were somehow softened by his expression. It was an electric stare that sent chills up his spine, the good kind. He laughed and shook his head, trying to finish prepping their dinner. "About me, huh? I'm not sure those thoughts are appropriate before dinner, Shepard." He passed a sly smile his way.

"And here I thought I was the perverted one between us. But now you're all Mr. Innuendo tonight." A coy smile grew on the Infiltrator's face.

"You bring out the best in me." He joked back though the words were true in many a sense.

"That's what I've been thinking about." Shepard put his bottle down on the counter and pushed it away. There was something serious about the action but not alarming per say. It could be considered normal though since he only ever had one or two beers that he somehow made last an entire night. But just the way he did it, his expression and his tone, made Kaidan feel aware. Aware of the soft heated gaze he was being given filled with something more than lust and less than desperation. Middle ground was a curious thing in war. His stormy grey eyes seemed clear, if not hot like metal sitting under a noon day sun normal in its appearance but you just know that a touch would be scalding if you dared. Kaidan swallowed and tried not to get lost in those eyes.

"You're burning the onions."

"Shit!" Kaidan stepped to the side and quickly turned off the stove, moving the pan to the burner below it where he poked at the burnt remains with a spatula as if they would grow eyes and teeth.

"It's like BTC cafeteria all over again. The horror."

Kaidan shot him a look. "Ha. Ha. Very funny. Don't tell me you could do any better, soldier."

Shepard grinned. "Well I wouldn't promise anything gourmet." The edges of his eyes crinkled playfully. He got up from the stool and made his way around the counter then bumped his hip into Kaidan's sending him the message so he would take a step away. "Make way for the chef."

"Right." He drawled sarcastically. "You know it's a real shame though that we can't just go out for sushi." With feigned annoyance he was shot a dull glare that only made him smile.

Heavy strong hands took control of the kitchen. He fluidly trashed the burnt remains then whipped out the second onion and began chopping it with a quick efficient ease. Like the leader that he was orders came as naturally as breathing and Kaidan was in charge of finishing chopping up the steak. "Try not to get distracted." Shepard needled with a glint in his eye.

"You always like to give me challenges."

"Well…I do like testing your limits." Those steely eyes were a visceral presence trailing down to his lips and chest.

"Hmm, I wonder…" Kaidan replied with a look to match the Infiltrators.

Shepard just smiled and shook his head.

"So what did you mean earlier?"

Shepard turned off the T.V. so that he didn't have to sit through rolling credits then he placed the remote on the coffee table with his empty wine glass and leaned back into Kaidan, sliding a hand onto his thigh. "I thought it was pretty obvious." He leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to the biotic's lips, moving his hand up.

A chuckle bubbled up from Kaidan's chest. "Not that the idea hasn't been in my mind all night," at Shepard's mouth finding its way to the side of his jaw right below his ear he almost lost track of his thought completely; he moved his own hand to Shepard's shoulder, "but when you said you were thinking about me…" He almost regretted bringing it up again when Shepard pulled away. But it wasn't a retreat. He only moved back so that they could lock gazes. "What did you mean?"

Shepard smiled softly. He looked around the living room, something of a nervous twitch Kaidan noticed when they were first serving on the Normandy (he always let his eyes wander while he thought), then returned his attention to Kaidan with that same look he had earlier. And with calloused hand he took a gentle hold of Kaidan's face and gave him a caring kiss, heavy but calm.

"I've been thinking lately what life would be like if I made different choices."

"Adam."

"There he goes again, fretting about things he can't change." Shepard rolled his eyes but smiled reassuringly. "Don't worry I'm not being consumed by the 'what ifs' if that's what you're thinking. Still, I can't help but wonder how differently things would have turned out. What if I hadn't saved the Council? What if I hadn't blown up the collector ship? What if I wasn't able to talk the Quarians down from attacking the Geth? And all the smaller choices I've made as well, what consequence did those have? Letting the Rachni queen go….Not contacting you the minute, the second that I woke up."

Guilt dripped into Kaidan's gut as he sat up and moved a hand to Shepard's back. He opened his mouth to refute what sounded like negative talk, to reaffirm all the good he's done, is doing and the inability to change anything cemented in the past.

"I know what you're going to say. I've said it to myself enough. I think it's stuck now too, so there's no need for…" he took a small breath, "for that." He was referring to the look on the biotic's face and the emotions that dwelled under it. "I don't regret anything that I've done. I must have done something right somewhere down the line…because I ended up with you. You're the one choice I could never change. Everytime. No matter what. It's always you. You keep me strong. You bring out the best in me…You make me feel human. And I can't picture a universe where you're not by my side."

Kaidan's heart ached at the strain of emotion he felt as a result of Shepard and his words. He took hold of the back of his neck and moved their foreheads together then took a deep shaky breath. "Me neither."

A pleasant silence passed between them but it wasn't silent, not really. Because it was filled with the words that didn't need to be said. The sentences that you were felt instead of heard. Endless speech and monologue of the same thing over and over in different ways but the message put on loop. 'I love you, always'.


	4. You're the Fire

Disclaimer: I claim no ownership over anything besides the plot of my own fan made delusion put down in words.

A/N: The rating of this story has officially become M instead of T. WARNING: there is smut in this one or male on male action, bow chick a wow wow stuff, sex scene so if you don't want to see any of that (or read) please avoid this chapter. Also I got like super embarrassed writing this one…Confession: this is my first ever smut scene….so I'm not sure how it turned out. I feel dirty. Now I'm going to go crawl up in a corner and try not to blush myself to death, if you'll excuse me.

*Start Story*

You're the Fire

"You are really sexy, you know that?" Shepard spoke in a diluted tone washed up from one too many drinks. And by one too many that usually meant just enough for liquid courage in saying things that otherwise would have remained thoughts alone rather than the stumble all over himself kind of 'too many'. Although he was tripping up well enough in his own mind on words and fluent thought.

"I think you've had enough, Shepard." Kaidan told him, pushing his whiskey glass away from him so that he could no longer touch it.

"Hey! This is…war time you know…We shouldn't waste stuff, rations and stuff. You waster."

The biotic smiled in amusement and downed the rest of Shepard's drink. "There, all gone. Now we won't be wasting. I think we'd better call it a night. Up you go," He slipped an arm around Shepard's shoulders and helped him to his feet. He may have swayed like an Asari dancer when he stood up and he had about as much coordination as a cross eyed Krogan but he was still on his feet and capable enough to walk on his own. This however did not prevent Kaidan from maintaining a supportive hold on him.

"You guys leaving?" Joker asked from a stool at the end of the bar where he was sat with some young pilot initiate who had been idolizing Jeff Moreau all night.

Shepard rubbed his hand along his face as if that would clear his mind. Which it didn't. "It's past our curfew." He replied with a tired playfulness.

"What he means to say," Kaidan interjected before Shepard could go on another one of his drunk random rambles, "is that it's late. So yeah, we're turning in for the night. But you and the others have fun alright? I'm going to try and get our dear commander back to the apartment before he decides to dance."

"Why is everyone always insulting my dancing? I'm a good dancer!"

Kaidan patted him a few times softly on the back, "Sure you are, Shepard."

"Alright then; you two be safe getting back. Try not to have a fire fight in the middle of the strip okay?"

"No promises!" Shepard wagged his finger at Jeff who only shook his head with a grin and returned to bragging to the young just-out-of-flight-school rookie who was looking at him as if he were a living legend…Which he technically was by all accounts.

Shepard and Kaidan made their way out of the casino at a slow yet steady pace that both could enjoy. The casino was still full of people and beating with life and the streets fared no better outside as they were teaming with alien night life of those who wished the party to never end. All the flashy neon lights were beginning to give the both of them a headache and they had a similar urge to retreat to the quiet confines of their apartment.

At some point on their walk down the Silversun Coast, around the combat center, Shepard slipped his hand into Kaidan's. The biotic looked at his lover who only gave him a soft look full of love in return. It put a smile on his face and made a pleasant knot grow in his chest. He intertwined their fingers together and squeezed. The intimate contact was almost enough to have him indifferent towards the uncomfortable lighting and crowds but he was still much more relieved when they made it into the elevator where they leaned against the back wall and breathed a sigh of relief together.

Kaidan closed his eyes, relished in the happiness he found simply standing by Shepard and holding his hand and hoped that wasn't a headache coming on.

"You're still sexy, you know that?" The biotic opened his eyes to find the infiltrator observing him with a calm yet fiery gaze that sent chills up his spine. Shepard rubbed his thumb on the back of Kaidan's hand.

"Or so I've been told." He pushed himself away from the wall, moving his hand out of its position but never losing contact as he pushed it into the wall next to and little bit above Shepard's head, pressing his body hotly close to his love's. "You're not so bad yourself."

After a shaky inhale from Shepard and some inviting glances at each other's lips they kissed. At first it was a solid, heavy but easy one that just told one another a little of the weight of emotions they felt. Shepard gently nipped at the bottom of Kaidan's lip and in response he opened his mouth allowing for an invasive tongue to sweep its way over the inside of his mouth. At first the taste of alcohol was acrid and distasteful only overridden by the desire to kiss; never mind the taste, the feeling morphed into its own intoxication. Kaidan pushed back at Shepard's tongue, enjoying the moan he received when he ran his own tongue into the infiltrator's mouth. He felt a fire spread through him and he pushed closer into him, driving his knee between Shepard's legs and holding the back of his neck while his other hand encased his wrist and held it more firmly to the wall.

He pried his lips away, saliva slipping out of their mouths when they did so. Some slipped down the corner of Shepard's chin and a thrill coursed through Kaidan seeing his lips already turning such a deep pink. He licked the drool away with the tip of his tongue then kissed the corner of his mouth. Shepard kissed him a few more times, simple lip to lip ones before Kaidan moved this along by beginning to kiss at his neck.

` "Not that I'm complaining," Shepard said breathlessly, "but what is up with these elevators being so slow?"

Kaidan chuckled into Shepard's neck making him shiver at the humming feeling. "That's a good question." The doors opened then and Kaidan pulled away, took hold of the other man's hand again and pulled him along out of the elevator.

"I wonder if we can't hack into elevators to get them to go faster. Like during the Cerberus invasion when I was standing on the roof of it. It was moving pretty fast then. Made it rather hard to shoot down the other elevator."

"Oh, I don't know. Slow elevators certainly have their perks." He passed a suggestive look over his shoulder.

Shepard swallowed. "Point." They stopped at the stairs, Shepard going to climb them then quickly realized Kaidan paused behind him. He turned to face him. There was this weird unreadable expression on his face. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Kaidan shook his head, his original smile coming back.

"Come on then," He turned to the flight of stairs, "we should probably make use of that big comfy bed. And maybe even burn away all the alcohol we consumed."

Kaidan grabbed Shepard by the waist and turned him around, "All the alcohol you consumed, you mean." He smiled cheekily and moved his face in super close.

"I could do double the work if you want."

"That's alright, I think I can exhaust it out of you."

"Oh really?"

"Hm-Hmm" He nuzzled his nose near the bottom edge of Shepard's chin.

"Talk is cheap, you know."

"That's good because I think I like noises more than talking right now." His hand slid under Shepard's shirt, warm hands running up his back and he kissed him, sucking on his bottom lip and Shepard moaned.

"Bed." Was the only thing the infiltrator managed to gasp out as they stumbled their way up the stairs and into the master bedroom.

The back of Shepard's knees hit the edge of the bed and gave out under him, making him fall back on the bed with a heavy Kaidan going on top of him. It took the wind out of Shepard and that along with all the heat and kissing made him light headed. Hands began to roam, articles of clothing came off and Shepard soon found himself with a mouth on his throat and a hand trailing down his thigh. He felt his cock harden the longer and harder that Kaidan sucked and gently bit that sweet spot just below his ear. He just knew Kaidan was thriving off of all the sounds he was eliciting.

A big calloused hand slipped down and pulled at his pants, sliding between the materiel and skin and Shepard arched up into Kaidan, groaning at the contact his cock had with the other man's thigh as both the slacks and briefs under him were pulled down. They made it down to his knees at a diagonal angle before Shepard gave up and slunk back into the bed before he became overwhelmed by the urge to start rocking his body into Kaidan's.

That calloused hand worked its way around his shaft and Shepard let out a throaty groan at the feel, arching back up and into the touch. "Kaidan." He breathed out the name on a spike of pleasure. The sound made Kaidan groan.

"John." He squeezed lightly and moved his hand up and down a few times gaining more delicious moans in return that turned the chills into shivers of fire. Before he knew it they were caught up in a storm of kisses and touches and bites. Hands couldn't and wouldn't remain still not while the others touch fanned the fire coursing through them.

"W-wait." Shepard managed to gasp out as Kaidan slipped a finger into him and started moving it to loosen him up. It took all his strength not to change his mind especially when the biotic pulled out the digit.

"What is it?" Kaidan asked with what was supposed to be concern or curiosity but was overridden by the lust in his eyes.

The Infiltrator lifted a quaky hand up and held the side of his love's face, his own eyes darkened with desire. Pulling in a short and quiet breath he managed to speak clearly. "I want to…try something different…switch positions…"

A smile graced the biotic's face. Shepard thought he was even more handsome when he smiled…especially when he was shirtless and smiling, that always got his blood boiling and the butterflies stirring in his stomach. Kaidan took hold of Shepard's wrist and turned his head so that his lips pressed into the palm, kissing it. "Adam, are you trying to use more innuendos?"

He grinned then used his deft soldier strength to flip them so that their positions were switched. Shepard leaned down with his face half a foot away from Kaidan's, smile still in place and even more cheeky. "Me? I never use innuendos. You're just a pervert who interprets what I say in a sexual context."

The biotic rolled his eyes but was still smiling, "I think," he slid his hand down Shepard's chest, feeling the muscle quiver as it passed his stomach, "that you just don't want to come out and say," he took a hold of Shepard's hard member causing the other man to whimper, "that you want to fuck me."

"You got me."

"That I do." Kaidan squeezed him eliciting a groan. "And you have me, Adam. All of me." Shepard's heart melted at the loving and lustful brown eyes boring into his own. He took that statement for what it was. Consent.

"I love you Kaidan."

"I love you too. And I would love it if you would screw me already."

Adam grinned and gave him a rough, hot kiss, not stopping there. Never stopping. Because this was the kind of fire that could forever be rekindled. And oh how he would never let the fire fade. Even if a single ember remained there could always be another spark.


	5. Nothing to Say

Disclaimer: Mass Effect? Who told you I own Mass Effect? Because I don't…

A/N: It's a short one. Lack of internet makes publishing things tricky. Enjoy! Review if it pleases you.

*Start Story*

Nothing to Say

Everyone had left by now. The memorial service for Thane Krios was over hours ago; even Koliat, his son and the one who stayed the longest had retired for the day. Shepard was sure that even if he didn't live in the place where the service was held he would be sticking around. Long after everyone gave up or moved on Shepard was still there fighting the battles that he has been for years. No complaints. No protests. Just bullet after bullet and the occasional thank you for saving us.

The picture of Thane resting on the Altar was screaming at him. Hard as it was to imagine Kepral Syndrome Thane Krios screaming it wasn't his voice alone. In fact, he couldn't be sure who's voices they were, he just assumed they were everyone's. All those obtuse screams and whispers that have been haunting him in his dreams ever since he left Earth. The people who couldn't be saved and won't be rescued. That's who they were.

Shepard leaned an arm on the glass window looking out on the Citadel and pressed his forehead into the cool glass while staring at the flashing lights of night life, rapid transits speeding by like water on a window shield. Everything was so noisy. Outside that window is noise and only this thin transparent wall is between him and the chaos. He sighed. These weren't the kind of thoughts that a leader should be thinking before going into battle.

There's no time to listen to the collection of regrets and guilt given voices to screech in his head. Not on the battle field where the voices of the living are much more important than the voices of the dead. He needs to tune them out. Shutting his eyes only heightens the experience but he squeezes them so tight it hurts just in case not seeing means not hearing.

A hand slips into his hand and the noise recedes. He looks over to find Kaidan there, looking at him. He's always there for him. The biotic gives him a thin smile but doesn't say a word. He doesn't have to.

The voices slip away into whispers and then nothing…


	6. The Only Thing I like About Me

Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect or any of Bioware's products. MShenko, however, is my OTP…so like…I own that.

Warning: Cussing in this chapter (as expected with Jack), kissing, maleXmale relationship

A/N: I loved writing this one. After the terrible feeling I got from writing the last chapter this is a nice feeling. So hopefully you all enjoy. There are only about two more parts to this collection but maybe just one depending on how I do it. Unless you guys wish to see more? Maybe? Anyway, enjoy. Feedback welcome. Thanks for reading! I love you story followers!

*Start Story*

**The Only Thing That I Like About Me**

"Of all the things you could do on this little vacation and you choose to do more fighting?"

Shepard pulled off the helmet he wore and was pleased at the chill that hit his sweat soaked hair and cooled his face after hours' worth of simulated battles. He placed it on the top shelf of his locker and grinned over at the biotic. "Doesn't hurt to stay warmed up. Besides, Jack asked me to. She isn't the kind of person you say no to…especially if you value certain body parts."

Kaidan smirked and shook his head. "I saw your scores." He said instead. "Got to say, I'm impressed."

"You know me. I love to show off." Shepard gave a grunt as he pulled off his chest plate then next his shirt to replace it with a clean one.

"You're doing it again."

The lower body leg armor was next to come off but he didn't change the pants underneath since he would be going back to the apartment for a shower after grabbing some to-go food from an awesome noodle place down the strip. "What?"

"Never mind."

Shepard gave him a teasing grin and slammed his locker close. "Do you want to watch a film when we get back to the apartment?" They started making their way out of the locker room and then out of the Combat Arena.

"We're not going to watch Fleet and Flotilla with Tali again are we? It was a good movie but it was a little hard to watch with her commentating random trivia about what life is really like on the Fleet."

The Infiltrator laughed. "I learned a lot of things that I didn't know before. And the romance aspect of the movie was very moving."

"Don't play coy Shepard. I know you dislike movies that don't have any gun fights."

"Yeah well don't go telling Tali that. I'd have to punch you and then myself for making her cry."

"Right." Laughed the biotic. "We don't want to make our cute little Quarian upset. If we did I get the feeling Garrus would give us one between the eyes."

Shepard gave a dramatic shudder. "I do not doubt that, Major."

"Yo, Shep!" Both men turned around at the same time to greet whoever called out to him but instead they saw something flying super-fast straight at Shepard's face. The Infiltrator lifted his arms, crossing over each other in front of him, as a shield. The Biotic however, quickly gave his own blast of biotics that had the item halting in the air right in front of them before dropping to the ground. "Damn it Blue Boy you messed up my shot. I was testing the Commander's reflexes!" Jack scowled with hands on her hips.

Kaidan bent down and picked up the bag that was about the size of his fist and opened it. "By throwing credit chits at him?"

"Want me to throw rocks at him instead?" She asked snidely.

"I don't want you throwing anything but your sharp comebacks at me, Jack." Shepard said easily. "Because at least with those I don't get physically harmed."

"Cute Shepard. I can dish out some emotional harm if you prefer?"

"How about we leave all the fighting in the simulator room?" Suggested the Major.

Shepard hummed, "Shame none of our enemies ever get the memo that this is supposed to be a vacation."

Jack slapped Kaidan roughly on the arm, "Don't be such a sour puss. I'm totally just fu- messing with you guys. If I really wanted to harm your precious boyfriends pretty head I would have put a little biotic juice in that throw."

"I'm so proud of you Jack. I bet it's the kids' influence that-"

"Shut the fuck up Shepard or I'll punch you like when we met back at Grissom."

He smiled worriedly and rubbed his chin like the pain still lingered. "Aanndd it's back. Hey, Jack, me and Kaidan were about to go out for lunch do you want to come?"

"Where to?"

"That noodle place down the strip."

Jack threw up her hands in aggravated disgust. "God Damn it Shepard, I told you about that noodle incident. Why the hell would you even ask?" She shook her head and stormed past them.

Kaidan chuckled apprehensively, "Uh, do I even want to know?"

"Not if you want noodles for lunch, you don't."

"I'll take your word for it," the biotic began as they opened the front doors of the arena. "You know, you have a really strong stomach, huh Shepard?"

"Actually-"

"There he is, Commander Shepard!" A person shouted when they were barely a few feet out of the building.

Shepard tensed. "Uh oh. Run, run, run." He began to push Kaidan in the opposite direction of the crowd of people to the right who all were noticing him and beginning to wave and approach calling out for his attention.

The direction that he had turned to escape held something far worse though. Up ahead of them Al Jilanni fixed her hair then called out, "Commander!" They had locked eyes for an instant but that was all that it took. "Commander Shepard!" She started walking towards them and Shepard quickly spun on his heel and practically ran into the other crowd of eager people full of questions. Kaidan found the whole thing amusing, being tugged along from one paparazzi group to the other, laughing in good humor.

"Uh hello." Shepard said once he was surrounded by the first accumulation of people. He elbowed a snickering Kaidan in the ribs and hissed a whisper, "I need back up here, K."

Questions were being bombarded, almost impossible to pick out just one. "You seem to be doing just fine, Shepard. They want to hear from you."

"Spectre Alenko, we have some questions for you as well!" Shouted a reporter in the front.

The Infiltrator gave him a victorious smirk that said, 'Ha, now you're in the same boat as me.'

"Calm down everyone!" Shepard motioned his hands to silence the obnoxious crowd. "Let's be civil about this, shall we? You," He pointed to a young human male who flinched nervously at being identified, "start us off, son."

Kaidan raised an eyebrow at Shepard who only elbowed him again.

"Oh uh," The guy fumbled with his microphone, almost dropping it but managing to catch it before it fell. He adjusted his jacket and looked straight into Shepard's eyes which he had to admire. "C-Commander Shepard, is it true that Cerberus is no more?"

"It is. The Normandy and her crew were able to track down his base and from there we initiated a debilitating operation to shut them down. Kai Lang, the Illusive Man's top agent is dead and the Illusive Man himself has nowhere to go. It's only a matter of time before he's taken down as well."

"But the Illusive Man is still alive, correct? You're not afraid he's got something else up his sleeve?" Asked the young man with some more confidence.

Kaidan put a hand on Shepard's shoulder, silently indicating the switch of lead on this one, "As a great man once said, 'anything that can go wrong, will'. We don't know what the Illusive Man has planned but it's our job to be prepared for anything. And we will. The Illusive man will pay for his crimes."

Back to being nervous the young reporter gave a small nod.

"Next question?" asked the Biotic triggering a many held up hands.

Shepard pointed to an Asari sort of in the middle who had awesome purple eyes. "Yes, you."

She smiled professionally. "Is it true that you and Spectre Alenko are romantically involved?"

"Depends on what you mean romantically involved. Do we hang out a lot? Yes. Do we eat meals together. Yes. Do we have sex? Hell yes. Would I give my life for him? You better believe I would."

Kaidan blushed and rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm not sure that's appropriate to announce to all of Citadel Space, Shepard."

"Why not? If everyone knows then those waiters at Purgatory might stop flirting with you and I won't have to blow anything up."

"But Commander," the Asari began again, "isn't that a conflict of interest in regards to the upcoming battle? The final push on Earth to stop the Reapers is bound to be a battle full of heavy losses. Won't this relationship be a distraction in your duties to win?"

Shepard's face fell to a solemn one as he considered her words. "I realize that you are scared, miss?"

"Viora Gavolsh." Her smile was thin.

"I realize that you're scared, Viora. Everyone here is. The entire Galaxy is holding their breath praying that this war ends tomorrow and holding on to their loved ones while it happens. Your question was if my love for Major Alenko is a conflict of interest. Let me tell you something, Viora. A lot of people have died, good men and woman I've served with have given their lives to stop the Reapers and the losses won't stop there. But I've always found that people fight twice as hard when they have something to come back to. Kaidan isn't a distraction. He's my strength. Because of him I can continue to fight. Because of him I will continue to fight. Because I want this war to end just as badly as everyone else. That way we could retire to Vancouver and live out the rest of our days in peace." Everyone was silent. "Is that a satisfactory answer Ms. Gavolsh?"

It took a moment or two but she gave a slow nod.

Shepard smiled, took a hold of Kaidan's hand and looked deep into his eyes. "People admire me a lot for being a great soldier or a great man and they give me all these praises but really the only thing that I like about me is you, Kaidan."

The Infiltrator kissed him right there in front of all the cameras with the whole world watching.

All of the gathered reports started mumbling and looking around before they dispersed, talking about going to see a special someone or another. Even the evil Al Jilanni left when she saw they were still kissing in the middle of the strip outside of the Combat Arena.

They finally broke apart, both breathless. "Wow." Kaidan muttered. "You certainly know how to clear a crowd."

"They should be glad I didn't start fondling you."

"They would be so lucky. But before we start any fondling how about we get those noodles and go home before Al Jilanni realizes that she doesn't give a damn about personal moments and decides to harass us."

"Sounds good, Spectre."

Kaidan kissed Shepard again and they hurried off to the noodle place who's name escaped the both of them.


	7. Hand to Hold as I Grow Old

Disclaimer: Mass Effect is owned by Bioware, therefore not me…Or so they say

Warning: partial nudity, maleXmale relationship, love and fluff!

A/N: I was listening to Tangled Up in You by Staind over and over while writing the last chapter and this one just popped into my head…Guess I'm bad at estimating how much I write. I'm planning on only having to more but who knows? Maybe I'll have more ficlet ideas. Enjoy. Feedback welcome! And thank you readers, followers and favoriters.

*Start Story*

**Hand to Hold As I Grow Old**

"What are you doing?" Shepard yawned as he sleepily staggered into the bathroom.

A shirtless Kaidan was winding his fingers through his hair with a certain unhappy expression. "I just realized something."

The Infiltrator rubbed some sleep dust out of his eyes and hugged the biotic from behind, laying his sleepy head on a comfortable shoulder. "Wha's that?" He asked through another yawn.

"I'm almost three years older than you."

Shepard laughed softly. "Yeah, that's true. What about it?"

With a huff Kaidan held both edges of the sink. "Well, nothing really. It's just that I'm going to get old before you do. Look, I already have a head of grey hairs and I'm only 34."

"I like your grey hairs. They make you look sophisticated and sexy."

"You're not going to be saying that when I'm all grey."

"Aw, don't worry Kaidan you'll have your good looks well into your 50's since you take such good care of your body." Shepard ran a hand up his abs, all the big muscles underneath his fingers self-evident. "You shouldn't worry about it so much though. It'll only make more grey hairs appear. Not that it matters."

The biotic frowned and stared at the silver infesting his natural black hair coloring.

Waking up a bit more and taking notice that Shepard's words hadn't reassured Kaidan he pulled away and went to his side where he could stare the Major in the face. "Kaidan."

Kaidan looked over to him.

"Does getting old really bother you that much?"

"We're soldiers Shepard. The worse thing we can do is get old."

"I thought the worse thing we could do was die before the mission was done." He smirked slyly with a tired element to it. Kaidan didn't seem to appreciate the jesting, however. "Hey, it's a natural occurrence. You get old. That's what humans do. There's still plenty of fight left in us though so don't go thinking about starting a knitting club or watching marathons of The Asari Girl."

The words caused the more built man to smile. "I know, Adam. Sorry. We only have so long before we have to go back to the fighting. The chances of the both of us making it out alive…aren't very high. The problem actually is that I'm afraid we won't get to grow old together."

Shepard took a hold of Kaidan's hand. "That's what we're doing right now, Kaidan. Growing old together." He ran his hands through the biotic's hair. "You've even got the greys to prove it." He smiled.


	8. Like This Forever

Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect or any of its characters, settings or plot. But no one said anything but not possessing it in your heart.

Warning: mentions of alcohol, fluffy fluff fluff stuff, maleXmale relationship

A/N: God I love this pairing. It's so wonderful. Anyway thank you followers, favorite-rs and readers…not reviewers yet but oh well! Please enjoy. Feedback is welcome.

*Start Story*

Like this Forever

"Listen to that."

"Huh?" Kaidan questioningly grunted in his drunken stupor.

Shepard gave him a pat on the shoulder. "Listen,"

They both stared at the ceiling straining their ears to hear. From the master bedroom on the second floor sounds from the main floor filtered up. Some new age Asari pop with Salarian instrumental was playing an upbeat tune easy enough to dance to but just as well for listening purposes. But underneath the obvious sounds of music was a collection of laughter. It bubbled up and though muffled through separating walls was a happy sound too rarely heard amongst them.

The Infiltrator smiled tiredly and looked down at Kaidan who was curled up next to him on the bed. "Do you hear that? Sometimes I forget that we're just ordinary people who do exceptional things." He sighed. "I can't remember the last time we got to relax like this. No shooting, no enemies; just friends laughing with each other. That's how it should be."

"Well that's how it is…for the moment at least."

"True. And it's what we're fighting for, isn't it?"

"Yeah…"

Silence fell between the two of them as they continued to enjoy the chorus of laughter and music down the stairs. Time passed though Shepard wasn't sure how much. But next to him Kaidan's breathing evened out, and there was the small sound of snoring coming from him as he slept. It brought a pained smile to his face. His arm was going to sleep under the biotic's head and it was beginning to get uncomfortable for him in the position they were in but he loved every minute of it and didn't dare move even though he doubted Kaidan would waken even if he did. He brushed a loose curl from his forehead and whispered. "I wish we could stay like this forever."


	9. Since THis Story Line Began

Disclaimer: If you have not caught on by now I am not an owner or claimer of Mass Effect properties. Just thought I'd clear that up one more time in case someone believes me to be one because obviously I'd be writing so much fanfiction if I did.

Warning: maleXmale relationship, short, kiss

A/N: This is the final installation of this little ficlet series. But if someone does want me to write more I can be convinced but by this point I doubt anyone will. Enjoy nonetheless! Thanks for reading.

*Start Story*

Since This Story Line Began

"How long has it been, hm Shepard?" Kaidan was leaning over the railing before the expansive window on the docking bay floor.

Shepard joined him and rested his arms on the metal. "About three hours but I'm willing to go another round if you are." He smirked puckishly at the other man receiving a punch in the shoulder for his efforts.

"Not that you big dolt; I was talking about everything. You know, since Eden Prime when we first jumped headfirst into a fight where we were in way over our heads? How long has it been since we first served together?"

"Ah, see how much specification helps?" He chuckled and received a roll of the eyes and snort from his biotic lover. His features however became much more somber though as he bended over the railing. "Three, almost four years now. Feels like a lifetime doesn't it?"

"It's hard to remember a time when we weren't shooting geth and saving humanity. I remember being so freaked out when we first encountered Husks. Now we hardly even flinch when we shoot them."

"Funny, the things we get used to. But it happens. Freaking out every time we saw Husks would be counterproductive in way of taking them down at every corner. What brought on this question anyway? Normally you're more the here and now type."

"I know. It's just…no matter what happens this is the end of the road, Shepard. This is the final push, where we make our stand. What happens on Earth affects everyone else in the solar system. So I just got to thinking how we got to this point. So much has happened already. And now we're getting ready to end the chapter of this story whether it's with a funeral or a wedding."

"…probably both." Shepard replied a little darkly with a broken smile on his face.

"I'm sure Shakespeare wouldn't know what to do with both in the same play."

"Good thing he's not the one leading the final assault, right?"

"It's been a hell of a ride, hasn't it Shepard?"

"Well you know what they say," Adam snaked his arms around Kaidan's waist to pull him into his chest, "there's always room for a sequel."

And he kissed him one more time before they got back on to the Normandy and headed to Earth.


End file.
